Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
