there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize