If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize