Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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