There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
