Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why are your pants in the freezer?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
