You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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