Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
