I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
