Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
