im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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