Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
