I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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