i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
