I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
