Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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