It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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