But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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