So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
