so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
