I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
