so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
