Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
