I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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