so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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