we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
