sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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