My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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