I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
