remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
