Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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