LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
