I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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