How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
