What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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