We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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