dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
