All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
