all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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