Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
