We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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