My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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