dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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