So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize