Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
