If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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