I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize