He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
