There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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