I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
the raccoons are back...
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