Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
