Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize