Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
