do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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