another moral hangover. fuck.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
