i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
