I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
