8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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