just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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